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Please Revert: Sex in Driverless Taxis

Please Revert: Sex in Driverless Taxis

  • Culture
  • Life

Please Revert publishes complaints and grievances from concerned members of the public. 

Attention: Land Transport Authority (LTA)

CC: Ministry of Transport

Dear LTA,

I don’t understand why Singapore is the first country to begin trials for driverless taxis. Why do we always have to try to be the first at everything?

And did you really think it was a good idea to let people ride in these vehicles unsupervised? People behave badly when no one is watching, I thought everyone knows this.

Our taxi drivers are there to ensure that people don’t fool around.

Remove the driver and you give teenagers and adults another place to have sex (or watch porn). Those facing marriage difficulties will likely forego hotel rooms for this more flexible option. And let’s not even start on the economic ramifications once our Hotel 81 and Fragrance chains begin to lose their hourly bookings!

Here in Singapore, we are a conservative society. We prefer the comfort of our bedrooms.

History has proven that the true test of relevance for any new technology lies in its capacity for depravity. Take virtual reality, for instance. Already it is turning into the new frontier of pornographic consumption! Driverless cars, will soon go down the same path by facilitating nuTonomous sex.

As more and more of such carnal knowledge is harnessed for recreation rather than procreation, our birth rate will continue to plunge. Our social fabric will be threatened, and there will be many consequences.

Soon, only the companies peddling car cleaning services and wet wipes will benefit.

If Singapore intends to deploy an entire fleet of driverless taxis by 2018, then we are running out of time. We need to rein in our teenagers to ensure they remain securely shackled to the family values we hold so dear.

We will not be responsible for an entire generation of cheating husbands and wives.

We take this matter extremely seriously, and hope to hear back soon on the steps that will be taken to preserve our family values. Please revert back by tomorrow morning, or afternoon at the very latest.

Yours sincerely,

A Concerned Parent

Author

RICE STAFF