Trump Surprised To Find That Kim Has Warm Hands
SENTOSA – As he shook Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un’s hands for the first time this morning, President Trump is surprised to discover that his long-time enemy has such warm hands.

He had always assumed that someone so mean to him would have cold, clammy fingers.

The handshake lingered for just a moment longer than necessary as the two foes locked eyes on each other. For a brief second, US President thought he saw Kim lean closer and felt his heart flutter with nervous excitement.

Thankfully, both men recovered their composure after a CNA camera flash brought them back to earth.

Later on, Minister V. Balakrishnan was overheard teasing Trump about the unusual flush in his cheeks, but both men quickly attributed it to Singapore’s weather.

In honour of the creator of ‘Fake News’, RICE will be covering the Trump-Kim summit in the most ‘Fake News’ way possible. We may not be there, but that doesn’t mean we don’t know what’s really going on.

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