Top image: RICE File Photo
Career Cushioning. Quiet Firing. Productivity Paranoia. These are hot new TikTok-able buzzwords that describe post-Covid global work trends—all of which paint a picture of disillusionment about the daily 9-to-5 grind.
Philosophical crises about work aren’t new, though, and neither are our collective passions for debating them. Destabilising global events have always had an impact on us re-examining personal fulfilment, and all these newfangled jargons are simply contemporary ways of distinguishing established workplace patterns. Quiet Quitting, for instance, is but an updated phrase for being Job-Oriented.
Alas, the march for melodrama continues—everyone wants more catchy bait to latch on to. Here are some more work culture buzzwords to consider.
Silent Hoarding: When you take home office supplies and snacks from the pantry.
Breezy Breakdown: When you have to take a quick 5-minute cry while sitting on the loo.
Unspoken Lingering: When you wait outside the office toilet for an appropriate time after a colleague goes number two.
Cryptic Ranting: When you subtweet or make veiled Instagram Stories posts about your job/office/colleagues/bosses.
Overt Ranting: When you don’t hold back and go on a tirade about your job/office/colleagues/bosses on social media (Close Friends list optional depending on rage levels).
Easy Exiting: When you go into ORD mode after submitting your resignation letter.
Sneaky Snarking: When you DM your work bestie(s) to bitch about a colleague while a meeting is ongoing. Might include setting up a whole new private channel to perform said bitching.
Careless Whispering: When you try to Sneaky Snark but get caught. (E.g. When a shade-driven message pops up while you’re sharing your screen)
Solid Snaking: When you identify and memorise the parts of the office that can be seen by the CCTV camera.
Passive Expense: When you can’t be fucked to submit a claims invoice and swallow the cost of something you bought for the office.
Active Expense: When you go out of the way to submit claims invoices for every single thing you bought for the office, even if it’s one pen.
Exit Strategising: When you plan to hold a meeting outside the office in the late afternoon so you can go home straight after.
Tactical Technical: When you pretend an electronic device is malfunctioning so you don’t have to participate in a work meeting.
Crafty Mathing: When your boss overloads you with numbers, percentages and statistics to confuse you into something they need you to accept.
Moral Policing: When you go out of the way to announce that you cleaned up the desks/pantry/dirty mugs/etc.
Quiet Farting: Manipulating muscles to pass gas so no one can tell.