I 100% believe in this theory, because if I hadn’t mixed around with bad company I knew from Instagram (lol so lame), I wouldn’t have been motivated to drop out of secondary school. I’d probably be half done with my final year in poly right now, about to graduate with a diploma I can use it to find a “proper” job.
Your actions have consequences, I’m reminded, especially by games like Until Dawn, Catherine, and Life is Strange. And so, constantly worrying about the choices I make in life, I can’t help but feel aNxIoUs about the uncertainty of everything.
When I shared my daily struggles with a close friend, she advised that I seek spiritual guidance through aura readings. This response was quite predictable, with her Twitter loaded with tweets about her horoscope, and Instagram stories saturated with astrology memes. Yet I eagerly agreed to it, having spent sleepless nights trying to make sense of it all.
Besides, she mentioned that Kang Li Mineral Kingdom would no longer provide the service in 2020. Immediately, I booked an appointment on their website.
Am I good enough for this? Is this industry meant for me?
I’ve always wanted answers to these questions Without any kind of certificate to prove that I’ve weathered tough learning years in school, doubts fill my life like undercurrents, sometimes turning into huge waves. No ‘ragrets’ they said. Unfortunately, I ‘ragret’ dropping out, realising how difficult it is to survive without even a diploma.
I need to know; I need reassurance that my life is on the right path to prevent myself from making any more mistakes.
Even then, a fellow intern tells me that with anything related to fortune telling, tarot card readings, crystal healing, and horoscopes, it’s all a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Well, self-fulfilling prophecy indeed. I’m more than ready to burn $50 on an in-depth aura and tarot card reading to make any necessary amendments that’ll only bring good luck and hopefully, guidance. Perhaps comfort, and more nights of sleep.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
“Hi! You must be Ms. Belle, are you ready for your aura reading?”
I’m honestly SUPER stoked, but I reply with the chillest, “Yes”.
She guides me to a wooden bench located at the side of the entrance; it has two biosensors and metal handprints attached. I sit on the empty space in between the biosensors, and rest both my hands.
At first, I find myself stuck in a daze. Why would you need hand sensors to read someone’s aura? Apparently, the hand sensors help sense temperature, humidity, and static electricity in the environment and the person, maximising data accuracy.
The aura camera then displays the collected data as a colourful field around the body, which basically looks like someone just badly edited splotches onto a picture.
A light flashes, followed by the sound of printer nearby (which spits out an analytical report), and eventually a piece of polaroid film slides out of the camera, on which I expect to see myself giving the biggest smile. Being a curious bean, I ask her about the termination of aura readings in 2020.
The lady tells me, “Well, the film for the AuraCamera are in limited stocks as Fujifilm no longer produces it,” guiding me to the back of the shop, where another lady, seated behind a wooden table prepared with hot floral tea in a cute dolphin cup, introduces herself as Yi Xin.
As Yi Xin holds the polaroid facing down, the rolodex of uncertainty to spins in my head.
Would my life have turned out better if I did things differently? What if I didn’t make the decision to drop out of school four years ago? What if I hadn’t known of people that led me to where I am now?
I was more than ready for the colour of my aura.
What a relief.
Having done my research before booking this appointment, I knew that murky and dull colours represent negative energy of different traits. For example, if my red aura was in a muddy tone, it would represent repelling anger. As for black, it would indicate negative energy/feelings.
Yi Xin then carefully explains what type of energy my aura gives off:
“Wah, a lot of red and orange, means you’re very passionate in the things you do and love, also very creative; you’re on the right path of life! The yellow in the middle shows that you’re cheerful, people find comfort in you, then you see the pink at your crown area? Always thinking about love.”
Mind blown. To think I could know more about myself through just the colour of the polaroid.
But she’s right, things have been better for me ever since I landed myself an internship at Rice. Before this, I was a retail assistant at a sneaker store—nothing wrong with that job, but I hated it. I do, however, have mixed feelings when Yi Xin calle me creative.
All the same, there’s something empowering in listening to the way she describes my aura; I feel like a strong independent woman who doesn’t need no man. For a moment, I find myself filled with the confidence of knowing that my life is going just fine. There’s nothing to worry about.
She pulls out 4 decks of varying designs and tells me to pick one. Attracted to dark colours with cute patterns, I point towards a navy blue deck with tiny yellow stars.
“People who pick this deck are adventurous,” Yi Xin comments. Who knew choosing a deck would also make me realise something about myself?
First up: Career.
But before I can question her, she holds the deck in her left hand and rotates it in a circular motion over a lit candle.
Awkward silence. Okay, time to pop the question.
She nods in response, tells me to shuffle the deck, and places it in the middle of the table. Then we knock thrice on the deck. She fans out the cards and instructs me to pick as many cards as I want, while she takes one card and places it on her side of the table.
After picking about 5 cards, she arranges them before placing her chosen card next to mine. One by one, she turns all the cards up.
“You want to take picture?” she asks, the cards facing at me.
“Wah, ya, you’re really on the right path. Many people are inspired by the creative work you’ve put out and are supportive of what you’re doing. Also, this card here, transformation, becoming a better individual.”
It’s not super insightful, but I can’t help thinking that as long as I’m happy not spending money on nonsensical mambo-jambo, or even someone trying to lie their way to making me happy, it’s enough.
I allow myself to be blown away.
Oh love, much wow.
Again, before I pop the question, she hovers the cards above the candle in a circular motion.
Question: “Do you think it’s ideal for me to keep in contact with (He who shall not be named)?”
Shuffle deck. Place it in the middle.
Knock, knock, knock. She fans out the cards, takes one, tells me to choose as many as I want. Slowly, she turns all of it around to explain what the cards represent.
“Actually you want to show me a picture of him also?” she asks.
Unlocking my phone in a jiffy, I tap on Instagram and searched for my ex’s username, showing Yi Xin one of his pictures.
(Please don’t judge me, it’s not weird, okay. Plus we’re still talking. If I were to put a label to it, I’d say we’re complicated; human relationships are complicated.)
“Oh. You like boys with issues?” Yi Xin remarks, which feels like a personal attack.
“I feel like you are attracted to boys with issues because you think you can fix them, but you need to know they can only fix themselves.”
Yeap, definitely attacking me.
In truth, I’ve never actually noticed this toxic trait of mine, but looking back at my past relationships … The universe is definitely sending me a message. Spiritual readings might be about knowing more about yourself, but sometimes, it’s better to know less.
Cue “The Less I know The Better” by Tame Impala.
“Seeing from the cards here, both of you are giving and taking love from each other very well. Now that you two are on a break right? Also, he balances your life out since you met him when you’re in a dark place?”
Yi Xin speaks complete facts. I hadn’t even told her anything (except for my name), yet she knows. I can only gasp.
She holds the 5 chosen crystals, plainge them in a massive crystal singing bowl. Then she guides me on making the “uwuuUuUuuU” sound by hitting a stick on the outer corner of the bowl, and dragging the stick along the circumference.
Session is over. We say our goodbyes, I make payment, leaving the store with five crystals, an analytical report of my aura, and a polaroid of my aura, feeling like changed and contented woman.
“To more nights of sleep!” I can’t help but think. Though much of this may seem like self-fulling prophecies, being given some illusion of control is sometimes all we need.