George Pell, former Arch-Bishop of Melbourne, once economic controller of the Vatican, currently cardinal of the Catholic Church, has another title to add to this decorated list: once-convicted-but-now-quashed paedophile who was found guilty-but-not-anymore of sexually penetrating a boy under 16, and four counts of “indecent assault of a child under the age of 16”.
But Daniel Andrew, the premier of Victoria, had something to say: “I have a message for every single victim and survivor of child sex abuse.”
“I see you. I hear you. I believe you.”
2. Bernie Sanders Suspends 2020 Presidential Campaign
Keeping America Great 2020 💯🇺🇸🎇
3. Giant Pandas Do It Like They Do On The Discovery Channel
Internet people speculate that the pandas are finally getting it on because the zoo is, for once, empty of people thanks to the coronavirus.
Borrowing the immortal words of a local politician, it takes a virus to empty a space and make sexy panda time happen.
4. Vogue Singapore (Re-)Launches in Singapore This Autumn
5. Special-Arrangements-To-Hold-An-Election-During-A-Pandemic-In-Which-People-Are-Panicking-and-Dying-and-Unable-To-See-Their-Family-Members-If-They-Do-Not-Live-In-The-Same-Household-But-Might-Be-Mandated-To-Go-Out-And-Queue-To-Cast-A-Vote Bill Is Introduced in Singapore’s Parliament
Let’s focus all our attention, energy, and resources on combating the pandemic we are in.
6. Biggest Ozone Hole Ever Appears Over The Arctic
Sounds like worrying news, but rest assured: climate scientists say that this hole is not a result of, and has no direct implications on, the climate crisis or Covid-19.
7. Great Barrier Reef Suffers Mass Bleaching
Meanwhile, billions of people on earth continued giving the usual amount of fucks they do to the environment, i.e. none, even though this might be the last generation of humans who will get to see the Great Barrier Reef.
8. Final Fantasy VII Remake Is Released
On April 10, droughts will end and arid farmland fertilised as millions of gamers, yours truly included, go into spontaneous nerdgasm thanks to the release of Final Fantasy VII Remake on the PlayStation 4 gaming console.
As its title suggests, FF7R is a remake—complete with modern graphics and an updated plot—of Final Fantasy VII, the seminal Japanese role-playing game which was released for the PlayStation in 1997 and single-handedly popularised Gatsby hair wax.
Wait. That sounds familiar. Awkward.